According to recent studies one in two women pretend to have achieved orgasm, and does so for fear of losing their partners. But experts say the reasons are varied and far more complex then it seems.
If it is true, says a study from Columbia University, that 53.9 percent of women (and therefore more than one in two) habitually pretends to orgasm, then it is also necessary to ask why. For shame? Or to avoid problems and questions? In a research published in Archive of Sexual Behavior in partnership with Oakland University, scientists at the University of New York have tried to answer, and concluded that most of the women fearful of losing her partner
To understand this, the authors Kaighobadi Farnaz, Todd Shackelford and Viviana Weekes-Shackelford analyzed interviews with 453 heterosexual women between 18 and 46 years, all engaged in a relationship for at least six months. More than half admitted to fake an orgasm, especially in simulating the case of doubts about the faithfulness of him. For men, the researchers said, are more likely to stay with a woman if convinced of sexual satisfaction.
News that discredits once and for all the “byproduct theory” (or “theory of the by-product”) of the philosopher of science Elisabeth Lloyd, that the female orgasm is unnecessary (“a mere byproduct of the male,” says in her studies), but that will not please as to their male counterparts, according to another research from the University of Michigan, for men to find that the companion pretends is a real trauma.
But even men are not above all suspicion, and the University of Kansas, according to research published in the Journal of Sex Research, 25% of men are pretending, mostly to avoid hurting the feelings of his partner. Although, as explained by Professor Frank Sommer Institute for Men’s Health at the University Hospital Hamburg-Eppendorf, simulating orgasm in humans can be staged only acoustically, because ejaculation can not be fake ( except in cases of “dry ejaculation”, which occurs in those who take psychotropic drugs, has undergone prostate surgery or damage to the nerves of the bladder neck).
So its clear that the fiction of pleasure is something that belongs to both sexes, however, is the picture really that simple ? The scientific literature shows that women are not just pretending for fear of losing her companion. In 2007 a survey done in England by OnePoll of 4,000 women revealed that 30 percent women acknowledge that its normal to have fake orgasms with all their sexual partners and do not feel any sense of guilt because, according to 90 percent of respondents, men generally do not know or understand the difference between fake and real pleasure. Rather than starting threads or create complexes women prefer to pretend.
The reasons according to the experts, are innumerable, but we can divide them into 3 large groups :
- ignorance
- opportunism
- professional reasons.
The first group of women have lack of knowledge on the functioning of their bodies: “They believe they are anorgasmic” they explains, “because I’ve never managed to achieve it, or because they never masturbate, or because they are still trapped in the quarrel between orgasm type A (vaginal) orgasms and type B (clitoral). ”
The second group pretends because they are afraid to be termed by the partner as “defective,” “not working” or to “speed up” the timing of intercourse or functional relationship problems that never seems to end. ”
The third group” continues this due to their profession” does that for” trade “, and I refer to the world of porn and prostitutes.”
The first group of women are living with all this frustration, guilt and feelings of inadequacy, the second with anxiety and / or resentment, but the third are the most serene and live as normal as in routine .
“Finding out that his woman, sometimes a life’s companion, has pretended for years to orgasm during sex is devastating for a man,” said the sexologist. “I wounds the male pride, the very essence of his masculinity. A real catastrophe for his self-esteem.”
“In most cases,” said Paul G. Zucconi, a specialist in behavioral psychotherapy and cognitive therapy, “the woman denies it forever, and often is the man too who, after discussion would advise her to go to a sex therapist. Unfortunately, the woman does not always have the time to do so, and if she does, She still has to satisfy her partner. Most of them even think that the problem is with the husband. ”
According to Zucconi, those who pretend are usually women who are unable to admit failure to experience orgasm, and reason for that is that fear of being judged badly after openly admitting their anorgasmia. “The choice of the simulation, apparently is less demanding” the expert explains, “shows a woman who actually lives a double difficulty: first because she lacks the experience pleasurable orgasm and then because she fears the opinion of others (” anxiety disorder Social “). Yet, according to the present neurophysiological model, 90 percent of women can reach the pinnacle of pleasure with the prolonged stimulation of the clitoris, and even those that may be considered anorgasmic are curable and treatable.”
